August 14, 2007 by pamela.

…in modest apparel.”

I’ve been mulling this over (and over) and over. This morning I was browsing Facebook then the Drudge Report and the Seattle Times. And you know… there’s a common thread (pun unintentional — but I think there’s something to it) and a common appearance. It’s not just the blurring the lines between decency and indecency or masculinity and femininity (certainly not in the SeattleTimes). But it’s more than that — I’m not sure it’s driven by culture today or culture of thirty years ago or what. I’m not even touching on the mutilation by piercings and tattoos, by the way. But there’s a blurring of God’s creation. There’s a distortion of God’s creation. A mutilation of God’s creation. I see immodesty as a bit of all three — and that’s immodesty among men as well as among women. Immodesty infers that there is nothing sacred — nothing warranting covering and nothing warranting privacy and nothing warranting reverence. O— women need to get this matter right. I don’t mean that there’s a specific clothing style or code or uniform… but there is need to women to guard their bodies — guard the treasure of their body and not flaunt it. In addition to that, there’s such a need for women to guard womanhood — girlhood — femininity! What a blessing God created us male and female — we are different one from another. What a great gift this is. Immodesty destroys purity and unisex or gender-nonspecific clothing destroys God’s distinctive design.
What that says to me, therefore, is that immodesty is carelessness or disregard of God’s design and eternal purpose. Immodesty is arrogant. Immodesty is rude… it seeks its own way, it is easily provoked, it behaves unseemly. Immodesty isn’t kind, it puffs up, it exalts self and doesn’t seek the good of others - therefore, immodesty is not charitable… or is not loving. I used those analogies bcz in the end, it’s not love for the brethren if we’re immodest as believers. If, as believers, we dress immodestly, we’re sending not only mixed signals to the brethren, but mixed signals to the watching world as well. We’re saying outward appearance doesn’t matter… God’s special design and order is not all that important and outward appearance isn’t a “spiritual” matter. But I’d say that it is… the outward is simply revealing the inward.
So what is modesty? Modesty is moderation, decency — modesty is propriety, it’s not forward or arrogant. Modesty “… is synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of the female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honour.” [this definition, in part, from Noah Webster 1828]
Do we see very much fear (as in the sense of propriety and honour in dress and demeanor) in dress and behaviour today? No… not much fear at all. In fact, the “No Fear” slogan has sort of pervaded our culture, thought and behaviour and is totally contrary to God’s design. Immodesty is contrary to God’s design. “Gender-unspecific” is totally contrary to God’s design and yet is common — normal — but normal doesn’t necessarily mean right or appropriate.

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October 8, 2006 by pamela.

The sweet blessings I’ve had the privilege to enjoy through the years of maintaining A Christian Home website are the wonderful letters and testimonies that visitors send me. It’s been particularly true regarding the matter of feminine dress and the LORD’s touch and direction for many women and girls. I used to feel like I was one of few who saw or heard the biblical message of modesty and feminine dress for women and girls. It has seemed that women everywhere are coming to the same conclusion regarding “what in the world to wear.” I recall a time when I was in junior high school and I was wondering what to wear for a school “dress-up day.” My mother deadpanned: “Why don’t you wear a dress and go as a girl?” Though I did wear dresses and liked to sew, in those days much of the time my wardrobe for winter consisted of cords and Levi’s 501 jeans –and for summer: Levi’s 501 jeans: cut off. I probably was annoyed at her comment at the time, but seriously, through the years that statement has resonated with me and come to mind many, many times.

Couple that comment with a thought I had some years back: would I want Wes to reach over to my side of the closet and wear *my* clothes? Then why in the world would I be comfortable wearing (clothes like) his? If the Bible clearly speaks against men being effeminate, then clearly, women being masculine is (or should be) just as abominable. But our society doesn’t exactly go that way, does it? Our society seeks to obliterate God’s perfect design and now, men are so confused, they don’t know who they are or who the ought to be with and women are seeking to be like men ought to be and men are seeking to be like feminine women — it’s outrageous (or it ought to be!). The enemy is relentlessly attempting to thwart God’s design and beautiful order. Deuteronomy 22.5 is clear when distinguishing what is to be worn: “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”

Some would argue that that is Old Testament Law… but I believe that the Old is very instructive and fleshes out the New Testament (and vice versa). We have much to glean from God’s simple order of creation and His distinction of male and female. I fully and firmly believe God’s divine plan, the marvelous distinctions He created should be recognized and revered. I think we reverence the LORD by our delight in His creation—what better way than not only accepting His design but embracing it. I so wish I had taken my mom’s advice at the time! I wore dresses a great deal of the time in my adult life, but, probably fifteen years ago I took her advice and eliminated the pants and I think of her: “Why don’t you wear a dress and go as a girl?” comment. And I smile.

Here’s a sweet letter I received this evening:

Dear A Christian Home,
Lately I have been praying on the subject for modest dress. Today I got an answer from Jesus! I was afraid to tell my mom how I felt about skirts dresses etc…… and I asked God for help. My mom went shopping for me came back and said everything looked awful! She couldn’t find me jeans of shirts or skirts! She told me this “Ashley I’m sorry I couldn’t find you anything, you will have to wear skirts until we find something, besides I like you better in skirts than in pants.”. God works in amazing ways! I’m still wearing what jeans I do have (my mom said not waste), but when they wear out I will never buy jeans again! I am so happy, so free so much at peace! It all happened because I found your web site and it convicted me ! The truth blew me away! I sew (thank you Jesus!) so I can make my own stuff! Thank again for your wonderful articles, you touched me! I am 14, and some say I’m a “typical teen”, but I am a change teen forever! Words can not express my thanks! God Bless!
Love, Ashley M. 14
ps. I was wondering if you could post this letter on your blog? Maybe it can help another teen find Gods will for her life in dress!

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October 5, 2006 by pamela.

Whenever an article about conservative or modest dress is published, I rejoice! I rejoice because not only does it validate a message I so long to proclaim, but it also validates the choice and convictions of thousands of sisters around the world. Kelli sent me a USA Today article link that features a sister in the LORD, Wendy, who has the Wendy’s Modest Dress website.

I’ve had the pleasure of writing to Wendy many times over the years –first “meeting” her online when I was a member of an email list for women that dealt primarily with conservative family life issues. She then went on to start an online sewing business and then to forming an email list of like-minded sisters. I say “like-minded,” because not all Christian women see the matter of modest, feminine dress as an imperative of Scripture. It’s as if the issue of modesty totally eludes the church, generally speaking, today. Further, not many see headcovering as an essential or doctrinal issue or mandate. I’ve so appreciated Wendy’s gentle nonconfrontational stance and approach to the matter.

And while the article pertained largely to headcovering, articles such as the USA Today article and “mainstream” books on the topic of modesty are tremendous boosts for the exposure and endorsement of the huge necessity of modest dress. Could societies’ ill be cured with modest dress? Probably not, but certainly if the “church” were to take this matter seriously, the world would see a difference and instead of the church clamouring to look like the world, the world just might begin to take seriously that there is a difference –that Jesus does make a difference and the Bible truly is the light unto our path. Instead, because “the church” tends to make no changes –live no different from the world, the world sees no need of God in their lives and “the church” flows on in apparent hypocrisy.

I have a page of articles on modesty and modest, feminine dress along with lots of links for dressmakers and modest clothing sites.

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September 9, 2006 by pamela.

I spent the day yesterday with the olders… the olders, meaning the four oldest at home (and that, thankfully, included Timothy). We sort of followed an oft taken course… Penney’s in town, the bank and Starbucks. Our little town really only has one viable clothing store and we’re thus forced to drive a tad bit to surrounding towns to do any significant shopping. I guess we still do get into enough shopping trouble locally, so, I suppose it’s a good thing the great stores require a bit of time. Time and planning.

My boys know there’s been some discussion of clothing (in the blogosphere and after our time at the Deer Lake Conference last weekend). So Samuel knew he’d hit a hot button by pulling out a black T-shirt with a inscribed message: You know you want me.

Instantly… the modesty “issue” flared and flashed before me and remains on my mind. It seems as if, to one degree or another, it’s always on my mind. I sometimes wonder if it’s because it’s been an oft discussed topic in our home and elsewhere throughout the years. Truly, I wonder if it’s because we have daughters or if, really, it’s because we have sons. Then I wonder if it’s not also bcz I and our daughters, by conviction, wear dresses (and not pants). Whatever the case, the matter of modesty and feminine dress (and I don’t use the term interchangeably) is, or ought to be, a matter of concern to believers.

I think seeing that shirt, having just been through the little girls’ department and seeing nothing but downsized-Hollywood clothing. I was grieved as I looked at the marketing being foisted on little girls and forced on mothers attempting to dress little girls. I was grieved bcz I have a little daughter whom I would never ever set as a sex object before men and yet were I to purchase and dress her in much of what I saw yesterday I would be doing just such a thing. Little girls… women dressed in the attire of harlots. There is clothing that is an abomination. Sadly, it’s everywhere.

I don’t expect “modesty” to be a matter of concern to those outside “the faith” bcz, let’s face it, truly they serve the gods of this world and do not have a walk with the Living LORD… so, how can modesty (or anything else, really) matter much? And while I’m all for “mainstream” retailers creating and marketing “modest clothes,” I don’t really expect they’ll do so on a large scale *unless* they see a huge market and I certainly don’t anticipate retailers’ versions of modest clothes to be genuinely modest. And until the “church” gets into the Word of God and out of the entertainment business, those who honestly seek modest clothing will represent such an insignificant fraction of the retail dollars, it won’t make fiscal sense to cater to the small sect. O, sure, there are retailers who market modest clothing — and we occasionally find them — but, generally speaking, it’s the handful of catalog stores that carry lines of modest clothing.

After our local jaunt, we headed to the thrift stores and Marshall’s. Timothy was anxious for me to find some new dresses or whatever I needed… he was treating. I looked… and looked and after pulling out a couple of dresses that were identical to ones I already have, I realized I didn’t really need anything. Later we headed over to Marshall’s (a store where one can find marvelous deals on men’s and baby’s clothing and housewares). After looking through racks and racks of immodest clothing, I told Timothy that, really, I just needed a bath mat. And a can opener.

In the back of my mind was the visual of that inscription: You know you want me… It seemed throughout the day I was seeing shoppers wearing (and buying more) clothing that stated that message: You know you want me (and I’m available). I felt sad as I watched and have, since then, thought of the girls in the different stores… already dressed in come-hither clothing, they were buying more of the same — perhaps intentionally stating the message and perhaps hoping for a response. Trouble is, once the girls become aware of some guy’s passion toward them they’re often angry and resentful of the attention they receive. That’s the remarkable part of women’s attire. It is so powerful… and sends such strong messages. Many women desperately crave the show-stopping attention and then abhor it and the feeling of being an object of lust when they receive it. They appear to be confused by the reactions they receive and seem oblivious of mixed signals they’re giving. But they’re not oblivious. Ignorant, but not oblivious.

I pray others will join in taking a stand for modest clothing. Next on my list will be modest *and* feminine clothing.

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September 6, 2006 by pamela.

Many times in the past several years I’ve written articles or posts on the topic of modesty and/or modest dress. I’ve received letters of thanks and letters of condemnation. I think the letters of thanks are the ones I prefer, but I also appreciate the letters of disapproval, for it is in the reading and mulling over these letters that I gain understanding and can better articulate my convictions “the next time” the modesty issue comes up. I’ve talked about modesty to groups of women at retreats and to women in Bible studies and then through articles posted on our website. Most of the time, and I’m sorry it’s this way, women are sort of resigned to just going with the status quo or argue that modesty is “old-fashioned” or: da-ta-da-dahhh: legalistic! Ooooooo, legalism. The favourite catch-all term for anything someone doesn’t want to accept. And, it’s the favourite accusatory term with which to slap a sister who’s trying to make some seemingly radical changes in order to be obedient to Scripture. I mean, after all… you don’t want to be l-e-g-a-l-i-s-t-i-c do you? Funny thing is, those who are seeking to be modest in dress and speech are generally not doing so to draw attention to themselves—but on the contrary, they are seeking to *not* be drawing attention (and catch a lot of flack for it). I’ve found it interesting that the women get attention for not drawing attention and then smart for it.

Consider this… women are put down for dressing modestly or seeking to cover themselves and yet others are not put down for alluring or firing up someone else’s husband—in fact, if a women “looks like a million bucks” she’s thought to be cool, sexy, attractive and “with it!” And if a woman seeks to dress femininely and modestly, she’s often characterized as frumpy, dowdy, old fashioned, behind the times. It’s uncanny, really. By the way, I am talking about Christian women in Christian circles… you’d expect that from the world—but Bible reading, Bible believing followers of the LORD? Nope… you wouldn’t expect it, but such is the case.

So, Barbara just sent me a letter (she knows the best latest stuff) telling me of a site promoting modesty and so, in turn, I’d like to promote it as often as I can for the sake of encouragement as well as endorsement of a viable effort to encourage clothing manufacturers and retailers to offer clothing that doesn’t promote sexual promiscuity, that doesn’t destroy the unique design and distinction of little girls and women, and clothing which does not foster inappropriate thoughts and actions toward or about women.

Deuteronomy 22.5
“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth to a man,
neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment:
for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God”

II Timothy 2.9
“…that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…”

Mothers… wake up! Fathers… wake up! your daughters wearing thongs and low pants, lace lingerie hanging from skin tight tops tied above the waist is a display of torturous enticement and defrauding behaviour. Girls and women *do* have a responsibility for what their clothing says. Girls and women do have a responsibility to dress in a manner that does not encourage sexual advances or advertise that which they cannot honestly and rightly deliver. I know it’s not just clothing… there are many factors that must go along with modest clothing in the promotion of proper, well mannered and discreet behaviour. I know that it’s not incumbent on women to carry the whole weight of responsibility for sexual behaviour or the responses of men toward women. But truly… if girls and women dress in an “available” or enticing manner, or in a way that is sexually stimulating—they do bear the responsibility for the reactions that manner of dress provokes. There’s a book entitled, “Your Clothes Say it For You” and the title is as catchy as the content. What are your clothes saying? Ask your husband. Then ask him what they’re saying to other men.

More tomorrow or later… which ever comes first.

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